Mamaw Shields

By: Mary Lea Sargent

My childhood memento is a picture of my Mamaw Shields. She played an important role in influencing and molding me in being a perfectionist. Unfortunately, it comes across in my personal and professional life. I set high standards for myself and the people that I come in contact with on a daily basis. One innocent criticism made to me by her in my childhood would have a lasting impact on my life.

My Mamaw was a stern looking three hundred pound woman with a heart full of love. She always showed me love physically and verbally. However, her size and demeanor scared me a little and I never wanted to do anything to make her upset with me. I succeeded with this goal until the age of ten while spending a week of summer vacation with her. I made the mistake of not making my bed correctly and she showed me the right way to make it. I had to do it over and over again until it was right. The whole time I am doing this she is repeating to me "if something is worth doing it is worth doing right." This would be a phrase that would haunt and stick with me the rest of my life because I took her criticism personally. I never wanted to feel that inferior again. This innocent incident changed the way I thought and behaved. I took this learning experience to the extreme. I became a perfectionist and expected everyone else in my life to be the same way. Fortunately, life experiences over the last four years have made me realize an attitude adjustment was necessary or go crazy. Therefore, I have learned to apply my high standards to myself and no one else. These standards have been lowered a lot. I am no longer an extreme perfectionist but a moderate one. There are some habits that are hard to break.