Overcome the Cognitive Deficits of Shyness: Getting Your Mind Right
4. Avoid perfectionism: Nobody's perfect
Part of the exaggerated sense of self-criticism experienced by shy people is based on the excessive expectations they set for themselves. Their jokes have to be absolutely funny and their remarks insightful and witty. In short, shy people tend to set standards that are rather impossible to maintain. A simple strategy for overcoming the cognitive component of shyness is for shy people to set more realistic standards for themselves. It's not necessary to be the life of the party in order to categorize your performance as a social success. In some cases, simply talking to four new people at a party might be the mark of a successful performance. Thus, shy people reduce the misery they create for themselves by being less perfectionistic and more realistic.
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