Overcome the Cognitive Deficits of Shyness: Getting Your Mind Right
3. Avoid overgeneralizations: It may not be your fault
A mistake many shy people make is to overgeneralize their social misfortunes in one context to another and often to unrelated, social contexts. Such a tendency magnifies the negativity of the experience and degree to which the shy individual feels personally responsible. For example, after one individual excuses himself while talking to Judy, a shy individual, Judy now assumes that no one else at the party will want to talk to her and decides to leave. Leaving the party early only guarantees that no one else will be able to talk to Judy. Another error in this situation is in Judy's assumption that the other person excused himself because he found her boring. But the other individual could have excused himself because he had someone else to meet. Thus, the point is to avoid overgeneralizing social misfortunes and your responsibility for them.
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